Chapter 19: "This is the end"

“The procession moves on, the shouting is over
The fabulous freaks are leaving town.”
- ”The Carnival is Over” by Dead Can Dance

It was May 8, 2004. I had finished my last class at SC4 a mere two days prior. I had graduated in December but I stayed on for various reasons dealing with finances, school, and the ESG.

It would also be, for me, the death knell of my time at Denny’s.

My attendance had been slipping in the previous months. I would maybe make it once a month, if that at all. The crew diminished. While the turnover rate for the wait staff had always been high it increased in this time. I didn’t know anybody. Granted, it wasn’t like I was inviting them out for weekend binges or anything. I was still at least familiar to the staff enough that at times I wouldn’t have to say anything and a coffee would come my way.

It was after Birchwood Cinema’s showing of Top Gun. That showing also marked the end of another era but that will be covered another time.

RJ and I were joined by a few others at Denny’s. We took the standard back roads to Denny’s from the Mall. For the uninitiated, the mall and Denny’s are about a mile apart but various back roads for apartments and parking lot connections allow for a quick back way to Denny’s. (WARNING: ESOTERIC REFERENCE AHEAD!) I used to love to travel this. Being the chicken-eater I am I love back doors. Tonight though that magic was gone. I didn’t get that thrill of doing something different like I used to.

I cannot even remember who else I was with that night. There was nobody at the tables nearby. The fact that I cannot even recall who else I was with that night speaks volumes. I usually have pretty good recall but it must not have even been that significant for me to remember. We sat in the non-smoking section on the opposite side of the room we normally would have. Cliché as it is it was raining that night.

Nobody said much of anything that night. There were things to discuss but silence was the theme of the night. We sat and drank our coffees in a void and left. It wasn’t a bang, it wasn’t a whimper. There was nothing.

For me, this end was unspoken but I knew it was happening. I was going to go to U of M Flint in the fall and would no longer be in Port Huron and the surrounding area 4-6 days a week.

While this epic may be motivated by nostalgia and a spiritual return to my roots there is something else to approach. It is always a good idea to know when the end is at hand. While I am one of many that may stay at Denny’s long after any reasonable time on any given night there comes a time to say goodbye. Denny’s served its purpose for me when it needed to.

But the value I had invested into it was gone that night. Over the ensuing summer I returned once or twice. But it was similar the time I saw Cold play at St. Andrew’s Hall and Dope opened up for them. Dope destroyed Cold. That’s what the summer was like. The initial time at Denny’s was the killer opener. Any time after that was just pathetic. We could try to recapture the magic but at that point it was just going through the motions.

While it is always nice (and to a degree, necessary) to look back on the past it is never a good idea to try and reenact it. That is how depression starts. The longing for something that once was there and is now gone and trying to go through the motions in hopes that the elusive feeling will return.

It was my time to leave my late-night caretaker. I didn’t know when I would return but I didn’t plan on it being soon.

***

You really don’t think this is the end of the epic, do you? Stay tuned for the happy ending in the coming days!